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In the intro and about sections, I identified myself as a feminist, among other things. It’s a very loaded word and can mean very different things to many people. So I felt that maybe one of my first posts should be about what being a feminist means to me.
What is Feminism?
Feminism had many waves and definitions along the years till today. So I won’t pretend that I have an answer to what feminism is, but I can say what it means to me personally. Feminism is about “being free from socially constructed gender roles and stereotypes”. I prefer to look at it this way because I would rather not fall into the trap of binary definitions. Defining feminism as “equality between men and women” definitely won’t help. I find that definition lacking and might bring more issues than it solves.
In my ideal world, I would look at everyone, and be seen by everyone as “human”. We might choose to define ourselves as one gender, but that should not bring any expectations that we have to live up to, nor any limitations imposed on us.
I also believe that patriarchal societies harm and affect everyone. Women have it much worse, of course, but the expectations, stereotypes, and limitations those societies impose on us affect everyone. Bell Hooks addressed in “The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love” how patriarchal societies have a distorted image of men and masculinity. She also argued that even though feminism is mainly about women’s rights, it should also address men’s liberation from traditional gender roles.
What does it mean for me to be a feminist?
I also understand that many hold the view that feminism should be mostly by and for women, that men should not hijack the movement by just labeling themselves as feminists and be happy that they did their part. Some also make the distinction between “feminists” and “feminists’ ally”. I do understand where this is coming from, but I don’t personally share that position. I think men can – and should – be feminists too if they choose to. Feminism can be anything from questioning/challenging the status quo in how we lead our lives, to being an activist, writer, thinker, or anyone who is taking a more active role in the movement.
I don’t feel that I have done my part just by calling myself a feminist. On the contrary, I am far from it. To me it’s a constant reminder that there is a lot to work on in our societies, even in the tiniest details; standing up for “locker room talk”, stopping myself before I say, “You should’ve asked?”, asserting my right to be a man but still be vulnerable all I want, question whether I am offering my help to a woman just because she is a woman or because she does need help (why not ask first anyway?), etc.
I acknowledge that it’s an ever-ending process, We continue learning every day and it requires a conscious effort on our part to overcome how we were raised.
What do you think?
What does “being a feminist” mean to you? Do you call yourself one? Why? Or why not?